closerift | (no subject)

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" this is cecily trevelyan of the inquisition. i cannot be reached at the moment, but if you leave your information i will reply quick as i can. "

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[ There's a bit of a lapse before her reply: ]

Don't mind my assuming, but could it be less that he doesn't care about what you see as your flaws and more that he cares for you in spite of them? I've said what you're saying. I can sympathize. The people who really and truly care for you are the ones who can look those bad things full in the face and work around them at your side.

[ What kind of thoughtful reply is this???? Ugh. Sharon loves Cecily. ]

See, and that's just something I never thought I'd find. Ever. [ Cecily is, without a single doubt, her closest friend here, but even she knows little of the atrocities Sharon has gifted her world. She's so scared of losing people for what she's done and even more terrified of losing them to the fact that she feels no guilt for her crimes. ]

Because I've done things that... I've done things you can never ever come back from, no matter how hard you try. The kinds of things that make your own mother look at you like a monster.

[ Not Rose, never Rose, but Dahlia's perception of her daughter had changed after the church massacre. ]

[ She types "I wouldn't know," in response to the last comment, but it sounds too melodramatic, even if it's true. Instead, Cecily sighs, putting her own mother from her mind, and writes a new message: ]

Everyone has demons in their lives. Past, present, future. Wherever they are. You can come back from the worst of it... if you want to. It isn't easy, but it's possible. I've seen it, Sharon. I promise you.

And what about when you don't want to come back from it?

Don't you dare. You know that you have people who care about you who need you.

Not coming back from something... that's not like leaving, you know. It's like accepting yourself for what you really are and hoping that the people you care about can accept it, too.

He's done that: seen the very worst I have to offer, worse than anything he's ever done, and he's just... He still likes me.

Maybe that makes him crazy.

Maybe that means his feelings for you are true. Though I am predisposed to be suspicious of anyone who would get close to you. You'll have to forgive me.

I can't blame you. Fuck, he killed me and ruined my only attempt to kill the gods or get us home.

But I'm glad he did.

He apologized to me for it, you know?

Anyone can apologize. Do you truly believe he meant it?

[ Anyone can apologize, Sharon knows that, but she truly believes that Mello regrets his actions against her, even after she informed him that death was her ultimate goal if all else failed—she just didn't take into account that Hope is the ultimate asshole and would bring her back, even after what she did. ]

I do.

And if he didn't apologize, he's made it up to me and I'm over it. If you can't believe him, then you're going to just have to believe me.

Fine. I believe you. That doesn't mean I won't be keeping my eyes on him, though.

Well, don't be obvious. We're not... We haven't... really talked about things between us.

What have you discussed, then? What does he know?

We've spoken about our pasts, the things we've done to get where we are, and the things we'll have to do when we go back home. He knows he's important to me like I know I'm important to him.

We've held hands. We've kissed. We just haven't spoken about what it all means.

I see. Well, everything has to start somewhere. These things are more often nebulous than not. So long as you're careful with him and otherwise...

If he fucks me over, I'll just burn him to death. It's cool, Cecily.

I'll hold you to that, you know.

I know, so I can't go back on it. [ God, she's lucky to have Cecily by her side. Stupid friendship. ]

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